Quarantined With Teenagers by Jodi M Noord-Learning As I Go

Quarantine has not been easy for any of us. I have found many good points in my situation, but challenges too. I know it has been much worse for others.

The only situation I know for sure is my own, so let me tell you about that. My husband and I have been stuck at home with three teenagers for months. THREE TEENS. I love them dearly, but every day comes with many eye rolls and deep breathes… from us parents. In the past it has been the other way around, but…our turn.

Oh where to begin.

Do We Have to Define “Stay Home?”

In the beginning, they just didn’t get it. No matter how much we talked about shut downs and super carriers and deaths, my teens thought they were beyond the germs.

In looking for my oldest one day, my daughter tells me he went to Walmart. “Uh what?” This was in March, when Covid really started to rear it’s ugly head. Do you think he consulted anyone? No. Do you think he wore a mask? Heck no. Do you think he washed his hands or germ gelled on his way out of the store? I can say no with great certainty. This 19 year old thinks he’s invincible.

After going over this “stay home” idea again with all of them, we spent several full days at home. Eventually my 15 year old daughter came out of her room in tears.

“I don’t want to be home all the time. I need to see my friends.” Oh hon, none of us want this. It’s just something we have to do. You will get used to it for now. And it won’t last forever. (Eye roll from mom). Thus the beginning of being quarantined with teenagers.

Mystery of the Disappearing Food

My husband and I went to the grocery store soon after the high school forced students to stay home, after my college son moved back home and after he and I were told to work from home.

We planned out meals, stocked up on snacks and made sure to surplus on staples. We spent a couple hundred dollars during that grocery trip, which is far more than we typically spend per week when living our normal lifestyle. My husband made the comment that these groceries should last us a couple weeks.

Three days later, the snacks were gone and the staples suffered a huge dent. (Deep breath from mom.) A couple kids had been motivated to bake, which made for wonderful treats, but used up quite a bit of supplies. No one complained about lack of snacks, so I just let it go.

But I was somewhat dumb founded. What in the world? Had they been up eating all night? I was not going to run to the store every three days because we were out of snack food. They would have to load up their stomachs at meal time, because I still had plenty of meal bullets in my belt. Or they would have to get creative and make themselves snacks. Or heaven forbid, they would have to eat the apples, grapes and bananas that were readily available.

After a while, we all got used to the routine of eating almost all food at home, and snacks didn’t disappear so quickly. I had to make sure meals were plentiful and hearty, something I wasn’t necessarily used to. (This did grow old on my part, but that’s beside the point.)

Dishes. Need I Say More.

Wow. With everyone home all day every day and eating constantly, it seemed all the dishes were always dirty. Which means they sat in the sink or on the counter. In piles. In singles. Sitting in or filled with water. Caked with food. Not pretty.

For years I have preached putting dishes in the dishwasher. I have used my words (many, many words). I have shown the teens how. Signs have been hung. I have praised them when I saw one kid actually putting a glass in the dishwasher (because she knew I was watching). Yet they have some life long love of dumping dishes in the sink or next to the sink. Maddening. And during quarantine things get extra ugly in several ways.

And on the stove constantly sat used, dirty pans. Sometimes filled with cloudy water. Sometimes smeared with food residue. At times pushed to the side of the stove because we ran out of room ON the stove. Sometimes with a used spatula or fork sitting in it. My internal pressure cooker builds.

Mom Springs Into Action

So in April already, I announced during a meal time that if they use any kind of pan, pizza, sauce, pasta, soup pot, cookie sheet…any pan they use, they wash. I told them I am not going to be washing their macaroni and cheese pans all summer long. And then I wrote out a daily schedule for emptying the dishwasher and filling the dishwasher. Each assigned to a different day. Some have more than one day a week. That is life. That list hangs in the kitchen.

You won’t be shocked to learn that the only person that list helps is me. Every day I still have to remind the emptier and filler that it is his or her turn (deep breath and eye roll). But then they do it without complaint. It helps free up time in my day and helps my frustration level. And I hope it helps them learn kitchen duties for later in life. After having to clean up dishes, I was hoping that one or more kids might see the benefit of putting a dirty dish directly in the dishwasher when done with it. But so far no one seems to be enlightened.

What Do We Do With These Three Teens?

Nothing is open. We can’t be with other people. We can’t go many places. What do we do while quarantined with teenagers?

In the beginning of quarantine the kids made the mistake of being on their phones out in the open living room environment. All day. Almost every day. They looked down at their screens while I vacuumed around them, making them lift their feet move their bottoms. They arrived at the table when I announced food had been prepared, but that was it. Otherwise they didn’t move much.

So in the beginning the house became fairly clean. I had them cleaning out the fridge, mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms (which get nasty pretty quickly), dusting, and cleaning their rooms. They didn’t like me very much.

When cleaning had mostly been done, I made my daughter take walks with me at night to get out of the house. Our international student took it upon himself to shoot baskets or ride bike. My son went for runs the first few weeks. Our family activity turned into Bags tournaments or ping pong games in the evenings.

Mid May my son started a full time summer job, and my daughter started a job at a local restaurant several days a week. When they are not working or busy, all three have learned to stay in their rooms for large amounts of time. When they are out in the open on their phones, they get household jobs assigned to them. So they stay scarce. But we still haul them out for family activities here and there.

Love ‘Em

Just when I think I chose wrongly by birthing my kids in barns, or somehow failed them in the teaching responsibility area, they go and make me proud.

Once in a while one will empty the dishwasher not on his or her assigned day, just to help out. Two of them now have their driver’s license and don’t complain when I ask them to pick up our international student somewhere. They each gave me a little something for Mother’s Day and helped make lunch. My daughter helps prepare meals often with a good attitude. Our international student just does his own thing daily without complaint of boredom.

And my favorite “quarantined with teenagers” memory happened when my 19 year old went to work at 5:30am one morning. The sunrise was beautiful that day and he knew I would love the vibrant sky colors. He took pictures of the sky (while driving, I will overlook it this time) and texted them to me. Because he knew I would love them. He actually thought of me. Awwww… he does care. 🙂

So anyway, I think I will keep them.