And just like that, Ky is into his Junior year of high school. Seems like yesterday he walked into our home with his parents as a 14 year old child. His face looked even younger than his age and he seemed to carry about 77 pounds in that skinny little body.
The Beginnings…
He seemed nervous to speak. His English was fine, but he seemed scared of making a mistake. He didn’t always know how to say what he wanted, so he just didn’t say much at all. Instead he made crazy cat noises and sang high pitched notes. We just went with it. We asked him if he was ok and let him express himself how he wanted.
If Ky rebelled at all, it was with swastikas. In the beginning, he drew them everywhere. On paper, napkins, on steamy windows, in the snow, in frosting, in humus, in dirt… everywhere. He knew it bothered us because we made it clear right away that we find that symbol offensive. So he drew them all the more. The symbol was especially hard to ignore when he drew it on the church bulletin every week. It became a battle of the wills. Who would give in first? Would he stop the drawings or would we blow our tops?
Progress
Well, the swastikas lasted most of freshman year and then tapered off. Ky’s English became progressively better and I remember the day he rattled off a full sentence. I didn’t make a big deal about it, but I noticed it because up until then he communicated with fragments. When he spoke a nine word proper English sentence it sounded impressive and strange at the same time. I was proud of him in that moment. And now that he is in his third year with us, I have witnessed several more things to be proud of.
Who Ky Is
We now know more of his ins and outs and accept him as he is. He plays guitar beautifully but refuses to perform. He likes to make us laugh for the attention and for the happy mood. Cross Country isn’t super important to him so he doesn’t give it his all. He would rather hang out at home than hang with friends. He loves noodles and BBQ potato chips. He probably misses his home like crazy but never shows it. Fear in general gets the better of him, fear of germs, water, spoiled food, insects, criticism, gaining weight, being outcast, being made fun of, failure. But he and I are alike in that way and I can relate him to my own teenage years. And his fears have diminished a lot over the last couple years. He has matured greatly in this area.
He does have a soft heart and a big conscience. He likes to give gifts and tries to give us something for our birthdays. If he forgets he feels badly. He makes sure everyone has had a fair helping of supper before he gets seconds. He apologizes if he has eaten food that might have been intended for someone else. He has the love of God in him even though he doesn’t believe in God.
Our Third Teen
Sometimes I am amazed at how much he is like my own kids, like a typical teenager. His bedroom is a disaster. I told him when he moves out someday it will be a long process. He loves his phone and the games on it. He hates getting up early in the morning. School is low on his like list but high on his priority list. Ky talks a lot about healthy eating but loves his junk food. (Actually, this isn’t like my kids. They love junk food and shamelessly talk about nothing else.) He would rather sit than be physically active. He finds church super boring, for more reasons than one. And last but not least, he knows we as parents are right about some things, but he will never admit it.
We Enjoy This Kid
So I guess this post has less to do with his Junior year of high school and more to do with Ky as a person. His third year with us has brought much insight, joy, acceptance and status quo. He is just here and one of us. And we don’t really remember daily life without this Chinese boy who is the tallest of the family. We are proud of who he is becoming and proud of our own kids who enjoy his place in our household. Thank you God for bringing Ky here to his second home.
