Several years ago I went to my daughter’s elementary school band and choir concert, only to come home frustrated about the spectator seating situation. So frustrated in fact, that I took the time to write several paragraphs about it. Sometimes I write to work out emotions, as you might have guessed. I vent “on paper”, and then the tuck the written work away for safe keeping.
Recently I ran into this little write up when going through some files. I read it, laughed, and thought others might get a kick out of it too. Maybe some of you will even relate to my frustration. Hopefully no one feels offended by it. It was only one night and one write up. I am long past it. 🙂 And I am sharing it for fun.
An Elementary Concert. No Saving Seats.
Starting Off Tolerant
Twenty minutes early to my daughter’s jr high band and choir concert, my husband and I make our way into the auditorium. The large theater like room is only half filled with seated parents and grandparents waiting to see their child show off his or her musical talent. We notice the upper left section of the auditorium is virtually empty, so we make our way up the stairs to that area. But clearly sitting there is not meant to be. The area is roped off, and parents coming down the stairs say the section will be filled with choir students while the band performs. Of course. Totally logical. Students need a place to sit while they wait their turn to perform.
We move to the middle upper section which has a smattering of seated people. As we ascend the steps next to the seats, the lack of eye contact serves as my first red flag. Those we pass quickly look down as if they don’t want to be addressed. I see two seats on the isle that bear no markings in any way. I ask the woman seated next to them if the seats available. “No sorry, they are saved.” There is no sign on them, no person in them, nothing to indicate they are filled. But I smile politely and look around the section. I notice many empty seats with programs draped across them, coats hung on them, and arms slung across their backs.
Clearly this section is pretty much full. The only way to tell if there are two seats available would be to stand in front of the section and very loudly ask if anyone knows of two seats together we might occupy. But at this point I am unwilling to do that.
Getting Irritated But Still Faith Filled
Making our way down to the main level middle section, things seem more hopeful. Our current view is from the back of the section. The backs of people’s heads don’t seem nearly as possessive of the empty chairs as when we have to look the seated people in the eye.
We stop next to the third to last row, hovering over two empty seats. I nicely ask the gentleman next to them about their reserved status. “These are saved for my son.” Again, I smile on the outside. But in my head I think, “Sir, you are a very handsome man, but from the looks of you I would guess your son to be about 43. Is he not capable of finding his own seat? And the fact that you are saving two seats means the daughter-in-law is probably coming too, also an adult. Between the two of them, I think seat finding should be a snap (although it isn’t for us). You are very kind to think of them, but maybe it is time for some tough love, because- apron strings.”
I move a couple of rows forward, where about 8-10 empty chairs in the middle of a row wave at me. Slightly raising my voice, I ask if we might take 2 of them. But again…saved. I move across the isle where a young mom sits with some empty seats next to her. This time they are saved for an older member of the family, her own mother.
Hubby Takes Over, I Adopt New Strategy
Up until this point, my husband has been following me around. But the young mom was the last draw for him. He stomps off with his “this is ridiculous” body language in hyper mode. I know he expects me to follow as he takes 2 seats near the very front without asking a single soul. The reason these contain no bodies- no one wants to sit in the front except on last resort. But these satisfy me just fine.
I sit somewhat disgruntled at the difficulty in finding a place to rest our hind ends. We arrived early! This is a jr high concert, not a Broadway show! And why do these families who see each other every Sunday lunch and during the week because grandparents are babysitting for free need to sit right by each other at a concert where they cannot converse anyway? If they have to sit together, shouldn’t they meet in the lobby and find a place for their group of 10 fair and square like the rest of us?
I find myself wanting to invite people to sit by me. I feel compelled to stand up at the end of our row and inform those going by that available seats exist nearby. Turning around, I see a lone mom going through the same process we went through, being turned down by the many rows of seat savers. I half stand and point to the chair next to my husband. “This one is open and just for you.” She looks relieved and says “Oh perfect.” And she sits. And I smile, satisfied that I had helped one person in this sea of Savers.
Weren’t we taught in kindergarten that saving seats is unkind and exclusive? Yes, we were. No saving seats. Now, on with the show.
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