I have to laugh at the title. It sounds like I might be meeting the parents of someone I am dating, except I have married for 22 years. Or maybe the parents of someone my child is marrying, except my kids are still in high school and grade school.
Even though the title suggests a situation that doesn’t apply to us, yesterday WAS a big night of meeting the parents. Our exchange student arrived from China with his parents in tow. Or maybe it was the other way around.
How Do I Do This?
Now teenagers I can handle. Teenagers I know. I have no problem meeting a Chinese teen for the first time. But Chinese parents makes me nervous, especially ones who are leaving their only child with me for the school year. I have no idea how to greet them, welcome them into my home or keep from offending them somehow. Do they bow? Would they know how to handshake? I am assuming a hug would be out of the question. How long do we linger in the doorway? Do I need to offer a seat immediately? Will they understand what I am saying? How long will I be able to avoid my usual sarcasm? Oh the pressure…
Earlier this week I emailed someone from the International Student Program to ask how the greeting should go. Having talked with these parents already, this person assured me I would have it easier than most host families. She explained that the guest family coming to our house is very accustomed to western culture. They know how to feel out situations in America and are familiar with hand shaking. Ok, this calmed some nerves.
No Worries
She was right. Ky and his parents arrive at the time they had given us. They very assuredly enter through our front door and hold out their hands in an anticipated hand shake greeting. Dad speaks fluent English and introduces himself well. Mom doesn’t speak English but knows enough to tell us her name, as well as add “Ky’s mom”. Ky’s English is somewhere in between. He understands most conversation, but sometimes has a hard time formulating an answer. He very graciously introduced himself though. Greetings went very smoothly which brought much relief.
We talk awhile, getting to know a little about their family and about China. They ask questions about what opportunities await Ky at school and how routines might go in our house. Like many parents, Ky’s obviously think the world of him and want to give him every great opportunity. Dad explains how they are very disappointed in the Chinese education system. It demands a very strict study regiment with no other opportunities. They would much rather he have a strong study emphasis along with opportunities in music, sports, etc. They want a well rounded education.
When hunger strikes, we order some local pizza which our guests enjoy. Dad mentions a pizza place near their house they had tried in the past. He tries to remember the name, maybe “Domas? Or Domon..?” I quickly recognize a possible pizza chain, and when I suggest Domino’s, both Ky and his dad say “Yes! That is it! Very good pizza!” Poor mom has to guess what the rest of us are conversing about, once in a while asking Ky or his dad to translate for her.
After helping Ky unpack, the parents leave him at our house to sleep for the night. I explain my every step to Ky, because this young freshman Chinese boy probably feels like a fish out of water. I explain how we will probably sit around for the remainder of the evening. He may look at his phone, spend time in his room or chat with us. When that time frame expired, I tell him that I am going to get ready for bed, but he may stay out in the living room if he wants, just as long as he is in bed by 11pm. He follows the prompts. It all goes smoothly.
This morning he comes out of his room timid and unsure. I holler a “Good Morning!” at him and encourage him to come on out. I tell him whenever he is ready, we have some breakfast ready for him. He responds with an “Ok,” retreats to the bathroom, moves to his room to get dressed, and joins us at the table for breakfast. A few hours later, his parents pick him up in order to spend another day together in the area.
A Good Start
So here you have a summary of our first 24 hours with our freshman boy from China. Still a lot of unknowns but a great start. We all seem comfortable with him. Even our dog, who is wary of strangers, sits on his lap and licks his face. And Ky doesn’t mind!
This week he will be busy every day for international orientation at the high school. His parents will leave he country in a couple of days, but he will become more familiar with the school and his surroundings.
This morning Ky came to church with us briefly before his parents picked him up. He obviously felt like a fish out of water in the service. He constantly watched us for the appropriate ways to behave and steps to take. I felt a little sad that this young boy has never known a meaningful church service or the love of our God. Especially when I already see God at work in bringing him to our house. I look forward to the opportunity to explain to him how God loved his family and our family so much that He purposefully brought us together.
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A Chinese Adventure- https://www.jodimnoord.com/Chinese Adventure
