Where does one draw the line?
Most of my life I have put obligations first. And one could argue that choice as wise. Commitments such as employment or necessary meetings should be priority over the smaller moments in life. After all, I chose to participate and made a promise to attend. This is part of adulthood, and for the most part I agree with my commitment to my commitments.
With the years whizzing by, however, I struggle more and more often with what I am missing while fulfilling my obligations.
Tough Times Teach Lessons
My friend with the brain tumor lacks her short term memory. I assume the tumor pushes on the part of her brain that normally allows her to remember the previous few hours. She rarely knows what she has eaten in the same day, how much she has slept or if she went for a walk. Her memory has improved though. Six weeks ago she could not remember the days before in addition to the hours before. It has been rewarding to watch the growth.
One might think it hard to find conversation with her, but it isn’t. With an absent mind I usually ask about her day, to which she replies “Ummm…not sure. I am pretty foggy today.” But after that routine opening, we start to talk about what is. We might talk about how she feels emotionally. She and I might talk about what our kids have been up to lately. We might rehash funny memories from years ago. I might even re-tell her a funny story because I know it will make her laugh, and I know she won’t remember I have told it once before.
Conversations with my memory challenged friend teach me about living in the moment. Instead of thinking about what I should be doing or planning my next move, I just enjoy. I enjoy the current exchange of words. My body enjoys the sitting and resting. I enjoy time with my friend, time that I might not always have with her. Time that I took for granted in the past. I truly don’t want to be doing anything else.
What Should Change?
I am not sure I have experienced a lot of “living in the moment” during routine days. Heaven knows I worry and stew and contemplate and analyze and gaze at the green grass on the other side. I jump to fulfill obligations and strive to make others happy, all while trying to figure out how to make life easier.
Maybe a balanced, easier life comes with just being, or living in the moment to offset the obligations. I know one can’t reasonably just “be” throughout his or her life. Nothing would get done and no income would be made. But enjoying what is in front of you might be the key to balancing the stress of obligations.
Where to draw the line between obligation and living in the moment still remains a mystery. How do I decide what parts of my schedule need to go and need to stay? How much time goes to obligations and how much time goes to just being? Ideally I would want to split the time 50/50, but that might be wishful thinking.
Since drawing that line might never happen, I will make “being” a goal instead. As I mentioned earlier, I haven’t done a lot of living in the moment. Incorporating more of that into my life might be more realistic than trying to divide my time. Any of this I can fit in my life will be an improvement.
Just be. And bask in the moment.
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