*The flowers pictured in the banner above are from my friend Lori’s back yard a couple of summers ago. She loved her summer blooms.
They say that after a loved one dies, her memory can become one of perfection and sainthood. In other words, those she left behind tend to remember her as the best person ever to walk the face of the earth, without blemish or taint.
Why would this be? Maybe because those left behind don’t want to remember anything that might disrespect the deceased? Maybe those left behind don’t want to remember anything that brings guilt or regret? Not sure of the reason we might hold high those we have lost. But I know I join the group of those who think of greatness when I remember some I have lost. But maybe they were truly really great people.
Loved By Many
Her name is Lori. I refer to her as Friend in my past posts, but now that she is gone I don’t feel the need to protect her as much. Wish she were here to protect.
Lori has seven brothers and sisters, a husband and three kids, and many friends. That won’t change because she isn’t here. These people will always be part of her existence. I am just one of the many people who love Lori. And truly, she was one of the good who died young, as the old cliche goes. A brain tumor took Lori from this earth about 6 weeks ago.
A Promise To Plant
About a week before she died, Lori and I were talking about how we used to shop for flowers together in the spring. We would go to a greenhouse and pick out plants to add to our flower beds for the summer. Or if we didn’t shop together, we would show each other the new plants added to our flower bed. Just something we liked to talk about…a lot.
As we were talking about spring plants that day, I thought about her big pots by her garage that she always fills with flowers. I knew she didn’t have much longer to live, so I said to her “I promise that I will make sure your flower pots outside will be filled with beautiful flowers this spring.” She responded with “Oh, the washtub pots in the front?” Honestly, I had forgotten about the front pots. I had the back pots by the garage in mind. But of course I told her “Yes. All of them.” And I meant it. And she smiled.
After she passed away, I started making plans for her pots. But then I thought that others might have the same idea. So many people love her and know how she loved to flower garden. Not wanting to take the job away from someone else close to her, I talked to one of her sisters about it. She gave me the “all clear” to go ahead and fill Lori’s flower pots.
Emotional Planting
So that is what I have been doing today. I dug our old radio flyer wagon out of our garage and rambled two doors down to Lori’s house. I loaded up the pots and bumbled on back home. The old soil from last year got dumped out and new potting soil replaced it, along with compost from my bin. The flowering plants I bought yesterday were lovingly planted in the fresh dirt and pressed in place. I picked out flowers she has had in the past, ones she loved and ones she recommended to me over the years. I know they will be beautiful.
When all the plants are in place, I will pull them back to Lori’s and put them just where she always kept them. It will be a small representation of a hobby she loved.
The day has been an emotional one. A few tears roll as I work in Lori’s honor. As I plant, I think of my promise to her and how satisfying it feels to follow through. I love the thought of her family walking out of their doors to the flowers that she loved (even if the family doesn’t notice them :). It is an honor to plant in her pots and I am thankful for the opportunity. Maybe my efforts are for my own benefit just as much as her memory. I feel close to the friend I miss.
Saints Above
So yes, I think a lot of some people who have gone ahead of me into glory. Come to think of it, I might know why I think of them as wonderful, saintly people. Because I miss their goodness. I miss the parts of them that made me feel good and whole and happy. Parts I did’t even know I needed until they were gone. And now those good parts dwell elsewhere. So yes, some of those that have taken their greatness to heaven will always be wonderful in my mind.
I loved this post and I cried the whole time I was reading it. I miss her so much. I always loved looking at her flowers every time we came to Prairie City and it is so thoughtful that you filled all these pots with flowers Lori loved. She is just an irreplaceable friend and sister-in-law and I can so relate to all the things you said here. Thank you Jodi!
Mary